It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog. I’ve had the normal ups and downs. Last week I swam 2 miles in one workout, a personal best. I took the week off from lifting and got in some good cardio. Alex and I discovered a new bike route and have enjoyed that scenery several times. I’ve attended several parties and enjoyed the company of some of my favorite people. I’ve watched movies, played cards, and eaten out with friends. Some really good moments.
But along with the good, comes the bad. But this time, with the bad came some self discovery. This past holiday weekend, I learned a lot about the type of person I am and the kind of person I want to be. I have always struggled with self-confidence, I mean in some way we all do. My struggle usually involved accepting what was given to me and never feeling as if I deserved more or better. I was typically happy collecting the crumbs under the table. That was how most of my relationships functioned. I never asked for more then what was given and I never felt like I deserved better then I got. I believed I was “lucky” to get what I had.
Well, this weekend I learned that I don’t have to settle and accept what I am given. I deserve to get what I want. I didn’t feel “lucky” to get what I had but instead I felt angry. As I walked around my apartment yesterday afternoon picking up the pieces of my life from the weekend, a quote was stuck in my head. Casey keeps this hanging on her wall in the office and I’ve read it a million times, but for some reason yesterday it stuck.
"If people aren’t multiplying you,
then they’re dividing you…
If they’re
not adding to you,
then they’re subtracting from you."Rev. Run
I needed to remember this yesterday. As I sit here writing this blog, I keep doing the math in my head. I am finding that past and present, there are people in my world that don’t add up. Basic math.
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