Snowed In

First, I'll apologize for my long post and the ramblings. Being snowed in with the kitty will do that. I was suppose to party tonight. Redo the new year because it hasn't been that kind so far. But Mother Nature had the last laugh this weekend. Snow. And more snow. I hate snow. Always have. Since childhood it always seems to screw up my plans. I can almost guarantee that if I get married, no matter the date, it'll snow. Ahh well. Making the best of a bad situation.

So about 6pm I opened a bottle of wine. I don't drink much anymore. It's been about three months since I really tied one on. I learned a hard lesson that night. But alcohol has this strange effect of removing one from reality while bringing reality closer. Two bottles of wine later, I have determined that I am a messy person. Not physically messy but emotional. I expect a lot from people. I desire the same care and love that I give others. Which if you know me, is unrealistic. I am an all or nothing person. If you're in my world, I give you what I have. I don't place limits or boundaries. I care and love with what I have.

Throughout my life, this has created problems. I seem to be the one who loves more and in the end, hurts more. I really do believe that I deserve the care and love that I desire but I seem to give myself away too easily.

Ok... even with all this wine in me, I know I need to move away from this topic. I have people in my life and have made some really good friends in the past few months. Friends that care about me. That's what's important. I'm working on cleaning up my messiness but I think that's what makes me who I am.

Hoping to get back to the gym tomorrow. Still need one more swim this week and another run. Think I might be riding with Alex too!! Fun!

Thanks for listening... Damn snow...